Saturday, March 14, 2009

My Own Theory

Enriquez: Individual Sensitivity

  • Overview of Individual sensitivity
  • Biography of Mikael Fidel B. Enriquez
  • The Root of Flexibility, Loyalty and Charity
  • Sensitivity Chain
    • Responsibility
    • Pressure
    • Argument
    • Conflict
  • Sensitivity Touch
    • Positive Touch
      • Affirmation
      • Interaction
      • Bonding
    • Negative Touch
      • Misunderstanding
      • Rejection
      • Hatred
  • Outgrowths of Sensitivity
    • Major Outgrowths
      • Flexibility
      • Loyalty
      • Charity
    • Minor Outgrowths
      • Continuation
      • Appetizing
  • Psychotherapy


Overview of Individual Sensitivity

Individual Cycle of Sensitivity is all about sensitivity. This theory explains the very optimistic side of sensitivity. In sensitivity, it focuses on its upshot attitude to exercise the right approach in facing our lives.

The understanding of Enriquez was based on his experience in terms of handling his responsibility. These experiences lead him to discover the relation of flexibility, loyalty, and charity to sensitivity. He’ve stated that sensitivity is the root of those discoveries, and those discoveries is the highlight of this theory. This theory also shows the outgrowth of sensitivity, its chain, and touch.


Biography of Mikael Fidel B. Enriquez

Mikael Fidel B. Enriquez formerly know by some of his colleagues as Mikayl Fidel C. Buyoc was born on February 17, 1992, second child out of wedlock, his mother’s name is Noralyn Callano Buyoc and his biological father is Eduardo Antonio Diago Bondoc. His parent separated when his elder brother was only 4 months old and his mother didn’t noticed that she was again pregnant. Upon knowing it, his mother made a lot of ways on how to terminate his life away from this world because that time his mother felt alone, his mother was too worried on how to survived considering that his elder brother was still a baby, his mother was jobless, and too irritable but life is so meaningful despite of what his mother did even up to the moment of giving birth to him. He came out healthy, cute and lovable. Thank God, he got no deficiency for all the attempts that his mother have done.

He was delivered at home in his grandmas place at Bontoc, Southern Leyte through the help of their Provincial Health Nurse in a normal scheme. According to his mother, that moment she gave birth to him, all her pains and hatred misplaced by love, care, affection and fondness. She breastfed him up to 1.2 years old, she nurtured well and he grew cheery and joyful baby that you must be fond of, most of their neighbors in the province are waiting when he’ll be awake to pick him up and play with him. He was fast and effortless to imitate on anything you taught him, silliness or good ones.

He was the apple of the eye in the family unlike his elder brother who he was a naughty boy, that’s why they’re are constantly have a conflict to every little thing, his little brother is an extrovert who cares to play along the streets whereas he is introvert because of his homebody attitude. They play each other or even play with other children in some ways but they cannot amused their selves in longer time, hence they easily felt irritated to each other because his brother is great bilker, his brother wanted to win always in any aspects and when he lose, he will mocked him up until he cry.

As his simple life goes on, all his necessities were provided by his mother’s relative until his mother got a job here in Manila, few months later his mother tag on them but still with the aid from their Tito and Titas. In few time she acquired excellent job in one of the top rated steel companies and became successful on her career. She sent her sons into a private schools and trying to furnish all their needs. They grown-up with house helpers diversity, hence they were unfortunate to find good buddy at home. Enriquez, was the one who’ve handled instructions from his mom every now and then, most likely when his mother goes to work, at an early age he need to comprehend all his mother’s instructions or else his mother will get crazy at him which sometimes he cannot understand why, but he forced to do so because of their situation.

On other hand, his biological dad faltered to extend his support ever since, in fact he was already 8 years old when he first and last time to see him, with the companion of his mother and brother. That was also the time when his father recognized that he got two sons from the mother of Enriquez. After that acquaintances and staying with their father for few days, they took no more notices from him aside from a few messages from the friendster account of Enriquez last year of June through the brother of his biological father.

Back to the toddler age of Enriquez, when his mother was still working she’ve met a guy named Aurelio H. Enriquez, her officemate, also an engineer who was very keen in inciting to have a good relationship to her he was very ready to face and help the mother of Enriquez to handle his responsibilities to them. He performed not just a good real father but the most of it, a good provider. On their early relationship, it were not that soft, definitely because he got hard to win the heart of the mother of Enriquez, the situation of course was complicated his families were also cautious to accept the mother of Enriquez because of course of the extra baggage at the back of her, as casual his side were contradicting the situation, as well on the mother’s side, they were all anxious if the step dad would mistreated the children as the usual stories of this kind, but the step dad goes on and proved that he is different. Eriquez witnessed their love affair, he stand as genuine, not just in supporting us all their needs but the care and love he shown to them can’t be beatable than no one else. With him, their lives became normal, they live together for 4 years and they’ve got little brother and sister, year 2003 they got married at last.

The step dad always persisting to gave his name to the first two children through adoption but adoption is too high and it cost and long process until year 2005 the mom of Enriquez apprehended that when she gave birth to Enriquez, his biological father was not declared on the birth certificate, so therefore anyone can acknowledge and legitimize the birth certificate so they did and processed it. Enriquez was secretly asked by his mom if its fine with him before hand since who knows one day his biological dad would emerge and might recover the, somehow, but no hesitation he said to his mom “yes” only that perhaps, because he also wanted to have the family name same with them, and doesn’t know what’s come to pass. His brother as well processed the same, and the school records submitted with legitimized birth certificate that converted Enriquez and his brother family name under to their step dad, which is Enriquez.

Up to now, Enriquez have no misgivings with his step dad, not just he kept on providing their needs particularly in their studies, but still the love and care is greater to his own children. They were addressing him tito before, but as time goes on, they felt that he doesn’t deserved for that admiration only and they decided to call him daddy as well so their little brother and sister won’t ask questions on that part anymore, he set their lives as normal family, complete and bonded in the name of our Lord God our Father.

As they grow, he is always on their crown in believing that our God above who watches us in our ups and down situation, he always lead the prayer together, that is one nice thing to him, that’s why he also involve into church activities as he is. He teaches a lot of things to his family and friends, the only thing that occasionally he felt sad and stressful is that his step dad’s outlook to him is quite high, because he is the only one who doesn’t have a sick. His older brother has a hearing deficiency even as his little brother, whom diagnosed lately of epilepsy, and his little sister who have a congenital heart disease and was operated when his sister was one year and seven months.

His mom is quite dazzling in her approach in their lives, she’s an easy go lucky mom. She is not that serious for their future, she has some kind of a “bahala na system” she spent their money recklessly buying unnecessary things even away from the budget and most of the time, lending their allowance to her friends without sometimes guarantee if she would be paid in their commitment date, that’s why they constantly lapse the budget. Imagine, even the own savings of Enriquez was borrowed for the sake of others. As Enriquez can observe her, she cannot refuse for those who loom her financially. She’s so considerable to others but when she’s out of budget it’s her turn now to lend with interest, she is so amazing until such time she was locked into credits but thank God. God is always good all the time and their step dad is truly has a big heart to us. Their step dad always save the mom of Enriquez situation and handling it knowledgably is a big part.

Because of the mother’s attitude, the step dad of Enriquez asked him assistance to handle such thing financially; he dispersed him to be more responsible now Emriquez is in 1st year college in San Beda College, Mendiola Manila, taking up B.S. Psychology. He keeps on monitoring and handling the monthly payables. His mom also agreed for that condition so she could control for those who ask help from her.

Essentially, Enriquez is quite prepared, he was organized by his mom to pay bills, when he was a little boy yet, and his mom even requested him to do marketing and groceries then, there where times when he cried when some vendors in the market teased him. His weak spot at home is doing household chores, even to keep his room clean, he seldom do it, and just rely it to the house help but sometimes he forced his self to do so in the absence of their house helper and of course washing his own clothes never happened however, he tried once but he is so unease with his clothes to be clean and sweet scented always. You can trust him to watch over his little sister and little brother in fact, they are sweet to him but as his elder brother in which up to now they’re still clash since they were a little boy.

In the schooling of Enriquez during his early years, he is already active in some school activities. He was not in a top rated students but he always one of the classroom officers during high school and he became a classroom president during his 4th year high school days and even the president in his chosen school organization. He is friendly and being a clown but only to his closed friends, many girls hang around him, perhaps they feel secured on his side, some of them are his crushes but he still don’t tend to court roughly. His talent is dancing in which he really love to do, but his step dad preventing him to do it. His step dad wanted him to concentrate with his studies and become a doctor one day, that’s the top request of his step dad and nothing less.

The life of Enriquez became more meaningful when he became part of the core group in his parish until now as a documentation head and became also a documentation head last year in the vicariate level. Because of his big responsibility to his family, he’ve chosen to refused to be part of the vicariate again in the year 2009, but still he remain part of the core group in the parish because he believes that even though we have many responsibilities, putting God in our list is a good thing to do, it’s not a must but we should do it as a children of God.

Sensitivity, that’s what Enriquez put in his heart and mind to adjust in his life. And being sensitive is the way he wants the people to be because if there is sensitivity, there will be flexibility, and if there is flexibility, there will be charity. If people want to have flexibility and charity in their lives, they should first learn how to be sensitive because sensitivity is the root of kindness.


The Root of Flexibility, Loyalty and Charity

Money makes the people go round but sensitivity makes the people go endless. Both round and endless has same meaning, but doesn’t have same thought. Round pertains to continuously rotation of people; people act, decide for the betterment of their reputation. In endless, it pertains to continuously rotation of people in how they do things for the betterment of their personality.

To improve that personality, we need to have flexibility, loyalty, and charity. But before having those traits, we should first establish in our heart and mind the act of sensitivity.

Sensitivity can lead to flexibility, because both adapts to the environment in a clam and knowledgeable way. There’s a progress if the relationship of both sensitivity and flexibility will lead into Loyalty. In loyalty, trust and care will be established for more good development. And later on, it will go into serious way of dealing responsibility, and it’s Charity. In charity, there’s a contribution and involvement to the people.


The Root of Flexibility, Loyalty and Charity

Sensitivity Chain

In life, problems can’t be set aside because whether we like it or not, problems are there, sitting beside us. Problems sometimes start at the stage wherein responsibility occurs, and everything will follows and then go back again to the first phase.

Responsibility

The first thing that we will experience in this chain is responsibility. A single responsibility will do, but if we are committing ourselves into many obligations, there’s no doubt that there will be a lot of responsibility will come our way. Accepting or choosing more responsibility can cause confusion, which will let us become stressful, and later on, it make us pressure.

Pressure

If there will be more responsibility, there will be a tendency that pressure may occur not only in a single moment but in a lot of days as you’ve handling the responsibilities. Pressure can manipulate us, it can control people not only us but the people around us. And if the people will feel that manipulation, they will become uneasy because you will also feel that pressure. Living with pressure is hard; it can affect all aspects of our daily routine, and the people around us. Pressure can lead to arguments.

Argument

Argument is the next phase in the chain of sensitivity, if we will let ourselves manipulate by the pressure in our responsibilities it will lead us into a big argumentation, into a conflict. If there is an argumentation in a community or in a relationship, misunderstanding and misperception is occurring, because those are the main reason why arguments became conflict, why arguments became serious.

Conflict

The last phase in the chain of sensitivity is conflict. There’s a mix emotions, hatred, and failures in conflict because it’s not just something to do with the people who you have an argued with but it is also an argumentation with yourself.

Sensitivity Touch

Enriquez believes that people needs to be noticed, whether positive or negative; positive way to be noticed for motivation and negative way of noticing for growth.

Positive Touch

Affirmation

Being happy, being comfortable in our everyday life is a must because we need to live our life to the fullest. One factor of being happy is to be affirmed by someone, affirming someone is a way of letting them know that they are special. Letting them feel the small amount of kindness makes them comfortable in a relationship, whether there is a closure or none. Affirming someone is the best first-aid in life.

Interaction

Letting ourselves part of a community makes us grow the way we want us to be. Being with the people whom we have a closure with is a nice thing because there is an interaction between them even though there’s a dependency in this way of interaction we still need to be with them. For more growth, there should also be an interaction with the people whom we don’t know deeper.

Bonding

There’s a big difference in interaction and bonding. In interaction it focuses on the approach of both camp, and in bonding, it’s how the both camp apply the approach or the way they interact. In bonding, there’s a more closure than interaction, because in bonding dependency on the way of interaction broadens.

Negative Touch

Misunderstanding / Misperceptions

Arguments can harm people and it can lead to a conflict. One of the major factors are misunderstanding and misperceptions. But still, we can avoid this misunderstanding by means of temperance of the pressure in the environment.

Rejection

On the other hand, seeing situation or people negatively is quite unfair but we can’t control it. We can never can’t tell if we will be having hatred to someone because sometimes rejection sometimes provokes us by means of the negative attitude of someone who wants us to reject. Rejection is a way of isolating someone into a community, if there is rejection, it can affect our way of style dealing with people , and there’s a tendency the pressure will occur in a more rigid way.

Hatred

In sensitivity, we can’t feel if there is hatred but we can see if there is argument. Determining hatred is a hard way, but still being empathic can help us to determine it. Actually, we don’t need to discover if a person hates us, but sometimes we need to do it for changing or just preventing things, and this action is sensitivity.

Outgrowths of Sensitivity

Outgrowth or result of sensitivity plays a major factor in this theory, because it focuses on the effects as how we use sensitivity. This area provides optimistic results, and has two parts of outgrowth, both major and minor.

Major Outgrowths

Flexibility

Being sensitive can put ourselves in the right track, and if we are in the right track, we can be flexible. Flexibility plays an important role in sensitivity because if you are flexible adjusting is just easy. Adjusting is just a routine if we are flexible.

Loyalty

In loyalty, there is also sensitivity, because before we commit ourselves into a obligation we first learn how that obligation can be used. Loyalty can be found in family, friends, and in the religion the we are part of. This trait can mold us not only into a better person but a better individual because in loyalty, we are preoccupied by the knowledge of trust.

Charity

To contribute something into a lot of people is a good way of helping them. Letting them receive their needs by means of humbleness can change their silly overview in life. Because of their hardships, they didn’t experience how to be appreciated. By means of charity, we can be able not only to help but also to understand that life is a give and take relationship in all aspects of living.

Minor Outgrowths

Consistency

There is no issue whether it’s a minor or major, the thing is, both outgrowths help sensitivity be understood. In consistency, there’s a repetition of good deeds, wherein people is eager to do good things. People don’t have any hesitations to help with all their hearts.

Appetizing

In affirmation, someone admires you because they noticed you, but in appetizing, there’s an automatic instinct that affirming your own self which is good because the self-confidence is getting higher. And being sensitive confident.


Psychotherapy: Enriquez Approach

Enriquez believes that sensitivity makes the people endless, because if we are endless, we want to be better, s better person, a better individual.

The general objective of the Enriquez Approach is to give affirmation to the people into a light talk. The patients should identify their responsibilities first; and it will be possible with the help of the therapist. Having a light talk is just a normal conversation but having a light talk is a way of relaxing our mind, and if there is a relaxation, our mind will be preoccupied by the peaceful way.